Unemployed Observations

admin on July 30, 2010

Back in the day when people had busy lives and jobs they would find themselves completely out of suitable clothes to wear and then be forced to spend all day doing laundry. During that time, if anyone came to the door, whether it was the mailman or an unexpected friend, the laundry-doer would feel compelled […]

Continue reading about #151 Wearing Work Clothes on Laundry Day

You know that feeling you get when you walk into an employed person’s home and realize furniture comes in other colors besides birch and doesn’t require being pieced together with stripped pegs and allen wrenches? It’s called envy, and the unemployed dream of a day when their belongings aren’t just a bunch of random IKEA pieces […]

Continue reading about #152 Being Embarrassed About Their IKEA Furniture

admin on May 31, 2010

Some Republican senator claimed that most unemployed people on the dole don’t even begin looking for jobs until their unemployment insurance runs out, and because of that, he voted against another emergency unemployment extension. First of all, Senator, thank you for reading this site to do your research, because for once, you were right. Second of […]

Continue reading about #150 Wishing They Started Job Searching Sooner

admin on March 31, 2010

Has being on the road these days ever made you think you were part of some larger conspiracy? One that made you feel slightly crazier than normal, and just that much more prone to road rage? Have you experienced being on the freeway in the middle of the day when it’s nowhere near rush hour […]

Continue reading about #149 Obeying All Traffic Laws to Avoid Fines

Most well-meaning people set out to start off the new year with a clean slate, vowing to quit this or start that – anything that will make them a better person. But it’s well known that resolutions were meant to be broken so this December, all of the unemployed people who still haven’t had enough […]

Continue reading about #148 Claiming Their New Year’s Resolution is to Get a Job

admin on October 27, 2009

Halloween 2008 was probably one of the final blowouts the now-unemployed had in the past year. Chances are it was the last time people had the opportunity to party hard before doomsday reports, job losses, and a massive downsizing in money and fun took over in 2009. With pitiful signs of recovery and people just […]

Continue reading about #147 Making Something Out of Nothing for Halloween

admin on September 2, 2009

When rich kids want to look cool, they shop at thrift stores to look poor. When unemployed people want to look clothed, they shop at thrift stores so they don’t get arrested for wearing nothing but their tattered former company’s t-shirt and dirty socks. Thrift stores, “in this economy”, are the unemployed’s best friend when […]

Continue reading about #143 Thrift Stores

admin on August 31, 2009

When restaurants around the country stop offering free food promotions for the unemployed to stand in line for all day, there’s always comfort in knowing that the free heart attack in a bag can still be obtained fairly cheaply. For the most part, it seems most fast food chains are hellbent on luring back the customers who […]

Continue reading about #142 Fast Food Value Menus

admin on August 28, 2009

There are times, specifically towards the end of a billing cycle, when unemployed people around the world are just universally impossible to reach. No, they haven’t died, nor have they lost their phones, they’ve just stopped answering them because they’re almost out of minutes and would rather ignore a call and innocently text back going, […]

Continue reading about #141 Rationing Their Cell Phone Minutes

There’s something about toilet paper that makes it generally acceptable to steal whenever the opportunity presents itself. For the most part, the people who are usually guilty of jacking a roll here and there are college students who have moved into their first apartment and don’t realize how toilet paper comes to find itself on […]

Continue reading about #140 Constantly Scavenging for Toilet Paper to Steal