Unemployed Observations

Full List of Stuff Unemployed People Like

#152 Being Embarrassed About Their IKEA Furniture

#151 Wearing Work Clothes on Laundry Day

#150 Wishing They Started Job Searching Sooner

#149 Obeying All Traffic Laws to Avoid Fines

#148 Claiming Their New Year’s Resolution is to Get a Job

#147 Making Something Out of Nothing for Halloween

#146 Staring At Their Useless Diploma(s)

#145 Cramming in Their Health Care

#144 Ironically Celebrating Labor Day

#143 Thrift Stores

#142 Fast Food Value Menus

#141 Rationing Their Cell Phone Minutes

#140 Constantly Scavenging for Toilet Paper to Steal

#139 Buying Items in Bulk

#138 Pampering Themselves

#137 Thinking About What They Would Do for a Klondike Bar

#136 Having the Ability to Make Impromptu Decisions

#135 Living with Their Ex Because They Can’t Afford to Move Out

#134 Watching Embarrassing Movies During Odd Hours for Privacy

#133 Starting a PayPal Account for Donations

#132 Eating Cheap Classics for Dinner

#131 Wanting a Vacation for the Vacation from Their Paid Vacation

#130 Going on a Road Trip to Ponder the Meaning of Life. Or Something.

#129 Trader Joe’s

#128 Taking in Lodgers Only to Discover There’s Better Ways to Make Ends Meet

#127 Pretending to be a Student to Get Discounts

#126 Lying About Why They Need to Borrow Money

#125 Donating Their Genetic Material for Money

#124 Letting Something Grow for Way Longer Than Appropriate

#123 Getting Introductory Prices With Zero Intent of Buying More

#122 Receiving New Emails Even if They’re SPAM

#121 Generic Brands

#120 Regretting Creating the Video Resume That Went Viral

#119 Entertaining on a Budget

#118 Finally Finding the Remote Control

#117 Charles Shaw Wine

#116 Getting Their Unemployment Insurance Renewed

#115 Buying Chips to Gain Access to the Salsa Bar

#114 Bragging About How They Got Let Go

#113 Convincing Friends to Hurt Themselves on the Job for Workers Comp

#112 Going to Disneyland for Free on Their Birthday While Others Pay Full Price

#111 Trying to be Everybody’s Plus One

#110 Contemplating Going Back to School to Put off Working

#109 Treating Drink Garnishes as an All-You-Can-Eat Salad Bar

#108 Slacking Off

#107 Constantly Borrowing Ingredients From Different Neighbors

#106 Sabotaging Their Only Interview in Months

#105 Driving Their Kids and Pets Crazy

#104 Crashing Weddings That Have Open Bar

#103 Buy One Get One Free Deals, if Someone Else is Buying

#102 Stealing Excessive Sugar and Condiments From Restaurants

#101 Being a Stay-in-Bed Lady or Gentleman

#100 The Good ol’ Wake and Bake

#99 Attending Clothes Swapping Parties With Sub-par Offerings

#98 Doing Good Deeds for Reward Money

#97 Holding Yard Sales to Sell Free Junk From Craigslist

#96 Poorly Justifying Why They Need a Smartphone

#95 Guilt Tripping Friends Into Buying Them Drinks

#94 Ignoring Their To-Do Lists

#93 Fantasizing About Buying a House While Unemployed

#92 Playing Casual Games Until Their Hands Cramp

#91 Yelling at Employees of Government Agencies

#90 Starting the Weekend Early

#89 Regretting Signing Up for a Gym Membership

#88 Accepting Their Townie Fate

#87 Walking Everywhere to Kill Time

#86 Scamming Netflix for Free Trials

#85 Birth Control

#84 Giving People Rides Then Going Back to Sleep

#83 Target and Other High Class Discount Stores

#82 Blogging About Being Unemployed

#81 Not Worrying About Stress Induced Wrinkles

#80 Dreading the Question, “How Was Your Day?”

#79 Dating for Dinner

#78 Fighting Off Brain Rot

#77 Having a Love/Hate Relationship with Laptops

#76 Daytime Television

#75 Losing Track of Time

#74 Desiring to Live Off the Fat of the Land

#73 Procrastinating

#72 Listening to “Why Don’t You Get A Job? by The Offspring

#71 Pathetically Trying to Win Contests and Sweepstakes

#70 Avoiding Updating Their Resume

#69 Working Under the Table

#68 Observing and Judging Other Unemployed People

#67 Standing in Line for Free Food

#66 Dreaming About Winning the Lottery

#65 Sneaking Into Multiple Matinee Movies

#64 Susan Boyle

#63 Going to Unemployment Parties

#60 Getting Away from It All

#59 Annoying Employed Friends While They’re At Work

#58 Thinking About Volunteering But Never Getting To It

#57 Desperately Updating Their Social Networking Profiles

#56 Going Green “For the Environment”

#55 Trying to Befriend More Successful Unemployed People Like Paris Hilton

#54 Becoming Addicted to Any TV Show in a Marathon

#53 Watching Office Space and Reminiscing About the Good Ol’ Days

#52 Getting Paid to Run Errands for Employed People

#51 Being An Unemployment Resource When Friends Get Laid Off

#50 Cheap Dates

#49 Boasting About Newfound Patience by Explaining, “I got time.”

#48 Working for Free at Their Old Job

#47 Declaring Themselves to be Retired

#46 Feeling Ambivalent About Unemployment Weight Gain

#45 Buying Perrier With Food Stamps

#44 Attempting to Learn How to Cook

#43 Traveling For Cheap During Off-Peak Times

#42 Going Back to Sleep After Waking Up Too Early

#41 WiFi Hotspots, Especially if They’re Free

#40 Friday Night Naps

#39 Finally Having Time to “Be An Artist”

#38 Making Up Recession Drinking Games

#37 Taking the Scientology Stress Test Because It’s Free

#36 Assembling an Unemployment Suit

#35 Going From Multitasker to Monotasker

#34 Scouring the Internet for Free Things to Do

#33 Putting Off Their Taxes Because They Owe Money

#32 Failing at Plans to Succeed at Leaving the House

#31 Claiming It’s Not Cold Enough to Turn on the Heater

#30 Gloating Every Time Their Former Company Screws Up

#29 Shunning Public Transportation Because “It’s for Poor People”

#28 Drinking Alone

#27 Avoiding Cold and Flu Season

#26 Public Libraries

#25 Dressing Up to Go to Discount Day at the Buffet

#24 Making Sure Reality Doesn’t Disturb Their Slumber

#23 Hiding Out at Home During Acne Breakouts

#22 Cursing Themselves for Reading Asinine CareerBuilder Articles

#21 Sleeping in While Their Significant Other Gets Up for Work

#20 Overusing the Phrase “In This Economy”

#19 Getting a Raise from the Government

#18 Trying to Figure Out if They Have Hobbies

#17 Getting Annoyed About Having to Get Dressed

#16 Getting Presidents Day and All Other Holidays Off

#15 Taking Friends Out “On the Government”

#14 Griping About Gas Prices By Habit

#13 Ignoring Obama’s Economic Stimulus Plan

#12 Not Showering Regularly Because What’s the Point?

#11 Scaring Former Co-Workers About Going Postal

#10 Complaining About the Weekend

#9 Moving Back Home With the Parents

#8 Pretending to Look for a Job

#7 Buying Game Consoles With Unemployment Checks

#6 Having Octuplets

#5 Barack Obama

#4 Praying Unemployment Checks Won’t Turn Into IOUs

#3 Freaking Out About Not Knowing How to Apply for a Job

#2 Making Unemployment Sites Crash

#1 Becoming a Statistic