weird-halloween-costumeHalloween 2008 was probably one of the final blowouts the now-unemployed had in the past year. Chances are it was the last time people had the opportunity to party hard before doomsday reports, job losses, and a massive downsizing in money and fun took over in 2009. With pitiful signs of recovery and people just being sick and tired of feeling like they shouldn’t have a good time, the unemployed are determined not to let their empty pockets get in the way of celebrating this Halloween.

After nearly a year of learning how to stretch a dollar and get creative with less money, the unemployed are prepared to hit the streets with their elaborate and hard-hitting costumes. Not willing to be left out, the unemployed are reaching into their closets to dig out old costumes, recycling bits and pieces from friends’ wardrobes, and hitting up Goodwill and thrift stores to supplement whatever they can’t find to complete a brilliant outfit. Sure, brilliant might be a stretch, but when it comes to being nonsensical, weird, and just plain creepy, the unemployed are ready and willing to be a Halloween hit.

Some tips to celebrate Halloween cheaply and successfully this year:

  • If you own or know any kids, exploit them. Use their toys, onesies, or last year’s costumes to make an ill-fitting Halloween costume. Floaties, a couple shovels, some buckets, and a deflated beach ball later, and you’re creepy, half-naked…Listen, nobody knows what the hell you are.
  • Carry around a cup with a few starter pennies and say you’re a panhandler. When people laugh, give them a hard stare and say, “Seriously, give me some change. I’m broke.”
  • Don’t be afraid to expose your underwear. In fact, people love showing extra skin on Halloween; it’s tradition. So, slap on strategically placed black and yellow stripes and call yourself a slutty bee. It’ll be an instant success!
  • If you have an alcoholic beverage and tag “drunken” in front of anything, you got yourself a costume. Show up wearing your unemployment suit, and say you’re a drunken unemployed person. People will think it’s a riot –  you can leave out the part about you starting off the night drinking alone.
  • To avoid feeling guilty about having no candy to hand out this year, put an empty bowl out with a sign that reads “Be responsible and help yourself” and let everyone think some jerk ruined it all for everyone.
  • Do some trick-or-treating yourself. Stop at every house on the way to your party to fill up on some candy. “In this economy,” people are bound to forgive overgrown adults for just wanting some candy. If they don’t comply, ask them for some adult candy and hold out your flask to be topped up. At that point, what have you got to lose?
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10 Responses to “#147 Making Something Out of Nothing for Halloween”

  1. elcahun says:

    Learn to recycle old costumes. I have some Doctor stuff and Cowboy stuff. I am thinking about being a Frontier Gynecologist. “Saving the west through PAP smears.”

    If you have saved all those unemployment check tabs, you can tape them to blue clothing and go as a “Stimulus Package.”

    Lost your health care? Go as an Asp with a Dildo in your mouth. (Cobra Sucks!)

  2. Cynthia Unemployed says:

    I laughed until I cried!!!!I have been unemployed since 7/09. I now can ride 8 miles a day on my bicycle, however I have gained ten pounds AND I am the proud owner of 8 jars of peanut butter!I’m so “green” that I’m practically living off the grid. I find myself eyeing other’s garbage – just in case there is something good in there.I am overly proud of my new found culinary skills as I can make a meal out of anything.I was worried about them cutting the cable off until my TV quit working. :( My house is REALLY clean now and I only use vinegar and baking soda to wash everything.My clothes hang outside to dry.Mother Earth News would finally be proud of me.I’d print out a copy of this for my friends but the printer died yesterday.
    Unemployed in Texas,

    By the way the man in the “Super Hero ” costume is hot!!!If you have any more pics I would be interested.:)

  3. Kelby2012 says:

    Where can I get that costume…..hilarious

  4. This is hilarious, made me laff. As a guy out of work over 2 years now, its good to be able to let ones sides split every now and again. Humour is good medicine, well done.

    I don’t go a bundle on halloween, but the guy wearing buckets should go to the shopping mall and try for a job there. No sure what as, but would raise a smile so close to Christmas. That’d teach us other job seekers, to dress more daringly in order to be memorable? Maybe it’s time to ditch the smart clothes and suits…

  5. Allison says:

    I’m glad I wasn’t the only one to become excited at the thought of getting FREE candy.

    “Oooh I can supplement my ramen noodle diet with fun size Snickers bars…for FREE!!”

    Sadly, it turns out I still have some pride left in me. Who needs chocolate when there’s tap water to be had.

  6. Blake says:

    Yep. My 3 year old son’s robot costume was a spray-painted beer box with arm and head holes cut into it, old dresser drawer knobs for dials, and a front panel piece from a discarded TV. As a laid off dad what it represented made me really sad, but he looked really cute and he loved it.

  7. jerson says:

    THIS IS not HILARIOUS though (I hope…)

    ” One in seven Americans short of food

    By Charles Abbott
    and Christopher DoeringPosted 2009/11/16 at 5:24 pm EST

    WASHINGTON, Nov. 16, 2009 (Reuters) — More than 49 million Americans — one in seven — struggled to get enough to eat in 2008, the highest total in 14 years of a federal survey on “food insecurity,” the U.S. government said Monday. …”

  8. Jacob says:

    that black bunny man pic cracks me up everytime i see it.

    now my employed friends think im psycho for sending them a picture message of him all the time.

    those ‘normies’ will never understand… ;D

  9. PJ says:

    I think your blog is wonderful and I hope you don’t mind but I use it as a great reference peice to my show Unemployment it’s a gig. We are like minded and I think you have been looking into my windo with all your insiteful tidbits. I dressed my son as a porcupine this year from collected toilet paper rolls that I cut in half and made coned shape (think madannas coned bra) and stapped it to a old sweat shirt of his. it was free and not as eay as I thougt but it was a free way to get snickers. Love that comment about leaving an empty bowl saying take what you will. I would love to give the writer credit on the show so email me back and I will do so. keep on blogin it’s hi– larious

  10. Koley says:

    I love this guy!

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