#137 Thinking About What They Would Do for a Klondike Bar

A great unemployment pastime can be as simple as letting one’s imagination go wild. Whether it’s dreaming about winning the lottery or fantasizing about buying a house, the unemployed can kill ample hours of time just sitting and thinking about elaborate scenarios. However, on the days they don’t want to start off with some of those bigger fantasies that will just result in depression when they’re faced with reality, the unemployed can easily switch off to a more easygoing game everybody loves, thinking about what they would do for a Klondike Bar.

Klondike Bars are frozen treats that are so big and thick there’s no room for a stick. Unlike the classic ice cream sandwich favorite, Klondike Bars are made with a crunchy chocolate shell that breaks into pieces the minute the first bite is taken, and each subsequent bite is complicated with chocolate chards and dripping ice cream. While they might be too messy or too much of a hassle to deal with, having plentiful time to eat one without looking like a total beast is a bonus that could potentially make the unemployed interested in wondering how far they would go for a Klondike Bar.

Ideally, the unemployed would accept payment for a Klondike Bar (unemployment doesn’t count),  get sent to eat a Klondike Bar with a polar bear, or have to sit through a paid-for wine tasting course at a spa vacation. Some of the obvious things an unemployed person would do for a Klondike Bar include eating, sleeping, sitting, and playing dead. If someone were kind enough to accept such tasks as reason enough for a treat, the unemployed would have it easy. However, as time goes on and desperation sets in, the unemployed would probably go as far as cleaning up, regularly taking showers, walking a sweater-wearing dog, or building that bookshelf that has sat around for six months – anything for an ice cream sandwich that would otherwise be ignored if the unemployed weren’t so desperate to eat something that doesn’t involve ramen. Whatever scenario they can come up with as far as how low or high they’re willing to go, there are two things the unemployed will not do for a Klondike Bar: get dressed to leave the house to pay for one, or find a job.

Tags: desperate and unemployed, free food, killing time, low standards, What would you do for a Klondike Bar?