#121 Generic Brands

Back in the day when money flowed freely from the terrible jobs the once employed used to have, the very notion of ever buying a generic brand was revolting enough for them to spend almost twice as much more for a name brand. The unemployed, however, have taken to exploring what they can get away with in terms of deciding which product would be most suitable given their strapped-for-cash situation. When they encounter the option of buying a name brand, or say the Target brand, they’re prone to asking themselves, “Do I want to pay half as much to risk it working half as well? Or do I want to believe the myth that several name brand companies actually sell generic brands as well because it’s another source of income?”

To embark on the generic brand voyage, the unemployed must be willing to risk feeling somewhat uneasy just in case generic doesn’t quite work out. There are some products where it really doesn’t make too much a difference whether name brand or store brand is purchased. Cheez Whiz is just one example - if the unemployed are already committed to buying overly processed “cheese” will it really hurt to buy the generic brand of something that will inevitably cause cancer? For alcohol, there’s always the temptation to buy the store brand booze even though the unemployed know it’s going to hurt, but then they decide to shell out a few more dollars to avoid buying a bottle simply marked “Gin”. But when they go to Costco to eat free samples and see the surprisingly expensive Kirkland Signature Vodka, and have heard rumors that it’s actually Grey Goose is a stripped down bottle, they’re going to want to buy the generic even though there’s that risk of terrible tasting vodka followed by an awful hangover. When Kirkland Signature costs more than Kettel One, the unemployed are bound to question the quality, but it’s still a risky game to play. One situation where it completely makes sense is when going for a product such as Preparation H. Because it’s hemorrhoids, people, and that’s not something any unemployed person would want to delay healing.

Tags: buying generic brands, stretching a dollar, things to do when unemployed