free-salsa-barEver have one of those moments when the only things in the cupboard are pasta, beans, rice and whatever other carbohydrate-y fillers that don’t exactly scream excitement or roughage? Or perhaps after a summer about dreaming about guacamole and getting tired of eating that fake, non-perishable green stuff sold at gas stations, avocados were finally on sale at the store to curb the craving. Those are the times when the salsa bar at the local Mexican takeout restaurant becomes the unemployed’s best friend.

Salsa is one of those vague toppings made with all sorts of chilies and vegetables and turned into pulverized deliciousness. Ranging from mild to medium to hot to ulcer causing, the salsa bar is usually a great place to go to supplement the lack of balanced nutrition the unemployed suffer from (unless they’re shopping at Whole Foods with food stamps). Depending on the Mexican restaurant chain, there are often additional delightful sides such as jalapenos and carrots, radishes, peppers, lemons, limes, onions, and cilantro. It’s all that’s needed to get flavor, fiber, nutrients, and heartburn.

Let’s face it, unless the unemployed have fallen for the Magic Bullet infomercial (or the much less useful Slap Chop), salsa is a bit complicated to make and that time is much better spent in front of the TV. But once that craving hits or it dawns on the unemployed that plain rice for dinner would be much better with some flavor, the unemployed know that for the price of $0.50, the world is their salsa bar. See, for the price of a bag of chips, the unemployed have full access to the salsa bar to make their dinner dream come true. By grabbing limes, onions, jalapenos, and pico de gallo, the unemployed have completed their guacamole all without breaking the bank. And better yet, without all the prep besides mashing some avocados with a fork. Or, with all the other ingredients mixed together, it’s unemployment gumbo with some chips to dip it with. All the unemployed have to do is ask for a few cups for water and start scooping in the salsa – because those tiny little ramekins aren’t going to be enough to satiate the unemployed’s craving.

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2 Responses to “#115 Buying Chips to Gain Access to the Salsa Bar”

  1. slim says:

    Why don’t you just change the site to “Stuff Poor People Like”. I think that would be even funnier.

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