Remember when things were quaint and neighborly and everyone actually knew who lived next door to them? Back then, people would have no qualms about sending their kids across the street to borrow an egg they realized they needed to complete their recipe. Rather than have to go through the trouble of driving all the way to the grocery store, they could count on their neighbor to help them out in a time of need.
These days, there’s nothing neighborly about the way we live. People hole themselves off and often times when living in large apartment complexes, no one wants to acquaint themselves with one another. It’s the perfect breeding ground for the unemployed who have no shame in knocking on someone’s door asking to borrow an egg, a cup of milk, some flour, or whatever they might need to feed their hungover stomach. The unemployed will exploit the suburban tradition of friendly willing-to-lend neighbors by showing up unannounced at the door of someone they’ve never met, and ask to borrow something under the pretense that they started baking something but realized they were short of something. Usually, it’s a lie that they actually need to borrow something for a recipe they’re making at the time. Borrowing from neighbors is actually a way to supplement their grocery shopping.
On the occasion where the neighbor will actually open the door, he’ll usually say, “Sorry, can’t help you” and slam the door shut. Or, he’ll oblige simply to get this thieving person out of his face, appalled at the gall of showing up at a complete stranger’s door asking for food stuffs. So as not to continuously hit up the same neighbor with paltry excuses as to why they need to borrow something, the unemployed will make sure to rotate through the entire complex before even thinking about going to the same person twice. But once they realize they’re likely to get evicted for failure to pay rent, the unemployed will grow bold and start asking to borrow things like steak, or a whole chicken, or organic baby arugula with some freshly shaved parmesan cheese just to see what kind of reaction they can yield. It’s at those times a punch in the face is well worth all the ingredients they’ve extracted from their ever-so-generous neighbors.
Tags: borrowing stuff from neighbors, free stuff, stretching a dollar, things to do when unemployed
Copyright © 2012 Stuff Unemployed People Like All rights reserved. Amazing Grace theme by
That’s something we’ve never really had in our neighborhood. Employed or not, we never really asked our neighbors for an extra egg or some sugar, or vice versa. We do exchange goods during Christmas, but that’s it. And it’s an exchange, not begging.
I live in this neighborhood ! We are the working family in the hood and it is always , light bulbs, bandaids, batteries and bananas. What did you Bake today? Cake ? I am tired of it. At first i didn’t mind …I am a good neighbor but enough is enough some of the beggers are kids but mom doesn’t work and society pays the bill they get to run around and the kids have better computers than we do. Sorry but summer seems to mean open doors.
I don’t really have a problem with people borrowing if they really need it, but my neighbors(who have a habit of borrowing food at least once a day) make more money than I do. But they squander their money on stuff they want rather than stuff they need and end up using the line “we have to feed our kids” in order to make you feel sorry for them and give them food.