#103 Buy One Get One Free Deals, if Someone Else is Buying

Everyone loves a buy one get one free deal. Whether it’s a fast food hamburger, a cell phone, or a bag of salad, people can’t help but get excited about getting extra stuff for the same price they’d usually pay. Typically, when encountering a buy  one get one free situation, the buyer would think of it as getting each item for half off which is a great discount. Of course, for conniving unemployed people who are constantly trying to figure out how to stretch a dollar, a buy one get one free deal is seen as an opportunity to get something for free.

The goal for most unemployed people is to get as much as they can for free with relatively little effort. While they were once stoked to take advantage of getting two things for the price of one, now their goal is to just get one thing for free. The best way to get something for free, with the catch that some money actually has to be spent, is to enlist their unsuspecting friends. For example, say Denny’s was offering buy one get one free Grand Slam breakfasts. The unemployed would definitely want to eat both meals, but without having the money to buy one meal, they have to lure a friend into having breakfast together, to “catch up.” The friend is typically just so happy to see the unemployed get out of the house that they’ll easily agree to get the Grand Slam breakfast even though they’d totally prefer Moons Over My Hammy. 

When the bill arrives, the friend is usually surprised to see they were only charged for one Grand Slam breakfast. What they didn’t realize is while they were in the bathroom, the unemployed slipped the waiter the buy one get one free coupon. The unemployed will simply explain that he had a coupon, and will then try to head to the bathroom before anything else is said. “Wait,” the friend will say. “If it’s buy one get one free, and we both got the same thing, doesn’t that technically mean we should split the bill?” Of course, the unemployed are prepared for this situation, so they twist it around and say, “First of all, we’re talking about a $3.99 Grand Slam breakfast. Second, I’m unemployed and didn’t I take you out on the government last time? Third, you were planning on spending the money anyway, and I’m the one who had to clip the coupon. So no, technically you should still have to pay, and by rule of coupon, I get a free meal.” Rather than fight back and seem petty, the friend will usually just pay for the meal then secretly hate the unemployed for not even offering to leave the tip. The unemployed, on the other hand, will leave Denny’s feeling riotously full, and spend the rest of the day trying to figure out who else they can scam for free lunch and dinner.

Tags: buy one get one free, free stuff, on the government, stretching a dollar