There are so many unemployed people out there whose first thought when receiving their pink slip was, “Finally, I get to stay in bed all day!” It’s a dream that most employed people have when they’re trudging out of bed, especially as their unemployed significant other continues to sleep. To be able to wake up and make the decision that they’re not getting out of bed, and not suffer any consequences, is a dream come true – for the unemployed at least.
Being able to sleep in until they feel well rested is not the only thing that is glorious about the freedom surrounding unemployment. Much like people love spending Sunday mornings in bed, drinking coffee, and reading the newspaper, the unemployed love to surround themselves with the comfort of their beds. In fact, at the early stages of unemployment, the jobless even try to make a life out of it. Some of the things that help make this possible are a laptop, that old TV that used to be in the basement and is now connected to the cable wire snaking through the entire house, a breakfast tray table, and a determination to do everything from bed.
At first, everything seems glorious. Hanging out in bed really is everything it’s made up to be. With everything being so fluffy and cozy even the slightest task of going to the bathroom or getting up for food becomes too daunting. Over time, as immobility begins to take over, and muscles begin to atrophy from utter lack of movement other than occasionally standing to shake the TV remote out of the blanket, staying in bed all day begins to lose its appeal. As documented at Stay-In-Bed Lady, voluntarily confining oneself to bed can lead to extreme back pain, dehydration from refusing to get out of bed for water, and general deterioration of the mind as unemployment progresses. Though it may seem more painful than it’s worth, sometimes choosing to be a stay-in-bed lady or a stay-in-bed gentleman is no worse than the pain of being confined to a cubicle.
Tags: letting yourself go, sleeping in, staying in bed, things to do when unemployed
Copyright © 2012 Stuff Unemployed People Like All rights reserved. Amazing Grace theme by
Eartha Kitt in “Harriet the Spy” said “I have the secret of life: you simply crawl into your bed and never, ever leave it again.”
I’ve made it my unemployed motto.
Love it! But I hate when you stay in bed all day, then you aren’t tired enough to sleep that night. Bring on the infomercial fest on the couch while you wait to get sleepy again!
I thought I’d love it…but there were unexpected un-perks.
1. I felt guilty.
2. The house got really messy. I’m not sure how, but it seemed to get very messy very quickly.
3. I looked bad. There is a reason for the term ‘bedhead’.
4. When people dropped by, or when the rest of the family came home, I was ashamed of my shabby appearance.
5. I had nothing to talk about. Online friends spoke of even mundane things like trips to the dry cleaners and their commute. I had gone nowhere, done nothing.
6. Weight gain! After a week of wallowing, my jeans laughed at me when I tried to put them on. I guess even sitting burns calories.
7. Indigestion and depression from lack of exercise.
Like most fantasies, the reality did not meet the fantasy. I now keep staying in bed for Sunday mornings or cases of the flu. Better idea: Go to the gym more often, and stay longer. Most gyms have a bank of televisions, so you can still watch Jerry Springer and the Sham-Wow commercials.
Hey Suzy, I hear you about the house getting messy – how the hell does it happen??? The kitchen I understand, since I’m cooking every meal instead of takeout/restaurant food, but the living room I’m in for 30 minutes tops, how come it looks like a tornado went through it? The only explanation I have is that while I’m NOT staying in bed, I clean up while I’m on the phone, usually without noticing that I’m even doing it. Can’t tell you how many times I have this phone conversation: Mom: “What is that noise I hear?” “Oh sorry, I was just taking out the trash / emptying the dishwasher / sweeping the floor / doing laundry”
Apart from that though, I very much enjoy staying in bed all day. PJs are comfy, I like sitting with my feet up, I have two laptops here, music, cats, books, etc. I only have to get up for food, drinks, and bathroom trips, and a couple times a week going to the grocery store or what have you.