#100 The Good ol’ Wake and Bake

For many out there, the good ‘ol wake and bake is a tried and true method of getting through the day. Some people, like this guy, feel the need to give their brains a handicap in order to handle their unchallenging jobs. The unemployed, on the other hand, might feel the need to immediately get stoned after waking up in order to handle their unchallenging lives. 

While employed folk have to carefully balance how they act and what they say while high, the unemployed have nothing to get in their way of enjoying a little escape now and then. It’s not to say that all unemployed people are stoners, most probably don’t have any desire or means to smoke, but sometimes, after waking up at 2pm and “accidentally stumbling upon” their roommate’s stash, they might just feel like they have nothing to lose by firin’ it up. The thing is, the unemployed already have a high probability of a) zoning out, b) playing video games all afternoon, and c) eating a lot of junk food out of complete boredom, so why wouldn’t they add to their leisure?

Before long, the unemployed take to truly mastering the wake and bake by ensuring they pinch enough out of their roommate’s stash for that morning afternoon, and making sure they have enough for the next morning afternoon. The stash is always kept close to their body so that wherever they might wake up, whether it’s the couch, the bed, or a stranger’s apartment whose occupant woke up and felt ashamed enough to escape before an awkward encounter could be had, they’re ready to get the day going. It’s also always imperative to have a couple dollars in cash handy so a trip to the nearest fast food place can simultaneously take care of lunch and the munchies. Finally, the unemployed always have to make sure to leave enough time to clean up after themselves so that when said roommate returns, there’s no evidence to implicate the unemployed for not looking for a job to cover rent that month, or that his/her stash is obviously running low.

Tags: avoiding reality, job searching, things to do when unemployed, wake and bake