It’s Friday, which means pretty much everyone is eager to go out, regardless of their employment status. For the unemployed, Fridays are the days that they hope something will finally happen after being isolated for the entire week. After getting turned down for numerous free events during the week because their friends “have to work” the next day, the unemployed know their already guilty friends will likely try to include them in their weekend plans. What they’re counting on is that their friends, out of guilt for flaking during the week, will buy them at least one drink to help pave the way for a wonderful evening.
Though the unemployed are likely to say yes to any chance at real world socialization, they want to milk their situation for all it’s worth to get a free drink offer out of their most stubborn of friends:
Employed: Hey, wanna come out tonight? We’re all going to the bar.
Unemployed: Man, I’d really like to, but I probably shouldn’t.
Employed: What? Why not? It’s Friday!
Unemployed: I know, but, it’s probably not a good idea.
Employed: Dude, a couple days ago you were begging me to go out, what changed?
Unemployed: Yeah, but those events had free food and booze. I don’t have the money to actually pay for stuff. I’m unemployed, remember?
Employed: Oh…
Unemployed: See how you made me miss getting my drink on for free all because you had to work?
Employed: If I buy you a drink, will that change your mind?
Unemployed: Fine…but just this one time! Come pick me up, I don’t have bus fare.
Of course, once the unemployed get out, they’re complete nightmares for their friends. One problem is after spending the week drinking alone, the unemployed don’t know how to handle drinking and socializing at the same time. Usually when they see the first round of drinks heading their way, their boozehound nature kicks in. They end up chugging as many drinks as possible before they have to pay, even if they’re obviously not for their consumption. If anyone were to ever observe a group of friends at a bar they’d likely be able to pick out the unemployed ones as they’re the ones who get increasingly drunk by sandbagging their friends’ drinks when they’re not looking. The fun times can only last so long because once the employed start to notice how expensive it is to get a buzz when they’re unemployed friends are around, the jobless can no longer count on guilt tripping their way to free drinks.
Tags: drinking alone, free stuff, guilt tripping their friends, stretching a dollar, unemployed and unsocialized
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That girl in the picture needs to lose some weight. The saddest thing is when i see fat unemployed people. HELLLO… you have all the time in the world, WORK OUT!
She doesn’t look remotely fat. And I’ve seen a dilemma of the unemployed, mentioned elsewhere- if you lose too much weight while unemployed, you won’t be able to wear any of your clothes, and you can’t afford new ones. Same problem if you gain too much!
i do this all the time! during my “perpetual saturday” (still going on), i have learned to master the art of having friends buy me drinks. it also doesn’t hurt to have a nice rack and mostly male friends too
love the blog keep it up.
I don’t know the girl in that picture but she is not fat or even close to being overweight by any means. She looks like a size 6 or something.
Maybe #97 should be about weight gain while unemployed – the excuses we find to not work out and eat our roommate’s food – and get all the high alcoholic free drinks from bartender friends – because, well, unemployment makes us severely depressed.
I meant high “caloric” free drinks, there’s nothing wrong with high “alcoholic”, not when you are severely depressed.
Unemployment Weight Gain! Woohoo! http://stuffunemployedpeopleli.....ight-gain/