#94 Ignoring Their To-Do Lists

For every meaningful or useful task completed by an unemployed person, there are dozens of tasks left behind to be ignored for weeks at a time. The reason behind this is every time an unemployed person accomplishes something, an angel gets its wings but an employed person also gets laid off. So while it might look like all unemployed people are just a bunch of lazy folk sucking the government dry, they’re really just looking out for others, y’know? “In this economy,” everyone’s gotta be responsible and pitch in however they can. 

While the unemployed might have all the ambition in the world to check off their to-do lists, most of the time they realize they actually have nothing to do besides the obvious: pretending to look for a job. After careful reflection (running out of other things to read), they realize the “stuff to do while unemployed” list they’ve created might as well be regarded in the same manner as their New Years resolutions – completely disregarded in exchange for looming guilt. Most of the stuff they intend to accomplish while unemployed are silly little things like fixing the kitchen drawer so knives stop flying out when it gets caught, caulking the moldy bathroom tiles, or trying to make themselves better people. These are all relatively non-urgent issues that can be put aside in favor of doing more suitable unemployment activities such as being completely useless or tuning out the nagging people getting on their case about never finishing what they’ve promised to do. Eventually, the unemployed will wise up for the sake of their own guilty conscience and alleviate the pressure of being a slacker by ceasing creation of all to-do lists.

Tags: ignoring their responsibilities, in this economy, things to do when unemployed, to-do lists