You know, “in this economy”, it’s probably not the best time for the unemployed to start popping out kids. Sure, this is the one time they have all the time in the world to make sure their kids are brought up properly (i.e. stuck in front of the TV while unemployment naps are taken), but having a baby on unemployment checks would probably break the budget just a tad. For some, it’s not the money that bothers them, it’s the thought of having their daytime television interrupted by a screaming baby that makes them reevaluate their birth control methods.
Apparently vasectomy rates have gone up during this recession, as have condom sales. And with the surge of poorly dubbed YAZ commercials filling the airwaves it looks like birth control pill marketing has been ramped up. It’s probably a good thing because chances are with all those hours of extreme boredom, abstinence is not likely to be an efficient way of preventing pregnancy. The last thing any unemployed person would want to do is have that awkward conversation, “Hi mom, I lost my job, am broke, and need to move home. Oh yeah, and you’re going to be a grandma - I got knocked up/knocked someone up. Can he/she move in too?” Asking for abortion money might not go over any better.
The downside of protecting against any unwanted kids is the price of birth control. That stuff is expensive and not exactly a place you’d want to skimp. For example, if you’re planning on buying dollar store condoms you might as well invest in sandwich bags (generic, of course). And popping baby blockers every other day instead of on schedule is not likely going to work very well, unless abstinence is simultaneously practiced. The best way to get safe, cost efficient birth control is to generously grab them whenever they’re available, or to scam Planned Parenthood into believing you’re out of work (true) and have no means to pay for birth control (false; that money is going for planned vacations). Making trips to the doctor’s office, going to clinics with the intent on jacking condoms, or shoplifting them like a teenager from overly priced stores that aren’t Target are all ways one could shamelessly keep themselves well stocked. Just walk right in and declare, “I’m taking these condoms because I don’t want to worry about having a kid ‘in this economy’. And even though I probably won’t need these before they expire, they’re free, and I’m unemployed and I like free stuff.”
Tags: birth control, free stuff, in this economy, recession
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Isn’t this supposed to be funny?
Oh. I see. Sex is only for those who can afford it. Cuz everyone who can’t afford birth control is OBVIOUSLY just lazy. People don’t really fall on hard times, right?
Jill - I think you missed the entire point of this article.
It’s true that those with a higher income can access safer and more effective forms of birth control more easily, NORMALLY. But when EVERYONE is out of work, we’re all on the same playing field - and we all need to watch ourselves just as much as the next guy.
Having a kid when you’re not even able to support yourself - that’s a bad idea, and likely to lead to relationship and family issues - not to mention a TON of stress.
This is one of those times that I miss being in college - because the doctors visits and prescriptions were CHEAP.
This is hilarious. Although Jill, the truth is — ANYONE can afford birth control. There are many government programs out there specifically for this purpose!! Stop whining!!
Jill: You can get any number of BC pills, condoms, etc. for free (FREEEEE!) from Planned Parenthood! (Along with annual exams if you don’t have insurance.)
GO THERE. They are the unemployed person’s godsend for all matters of Lady-Parts. (Or Man-Parts.)