#83 Target and Other High Class Discount Stores

Shopping is a great way to kill time and fill the void that unemployment insignificance causes. Window shopping at high end stores like Barney’s can be done if you’re willing to face scrutiny when they smell the scent of your most recent unemployment check on you. After getting kicked out of Neiman Marcus for playing far too many rounds of “Guess how much this costs?” the unemployed have no choice but to turn to their favorite discount retailers where they can fit in and actually shop for a few things.

Target ranks high amongst the vast discount retailers out there because it has been around for years and uses mesmerizing commercials to encourage you to buy things instead of constantly reminding you you’re saving money (Walmart). Plus, regular shoppers probably didn’t even notice it was a discount store until they found themselves digging out unused pads from junior high until they could swing by Target for tampons instead of paying 50% more at CVS across the street. There’s no shame in admitting a love for Target, it sells almost everything and can kill an entire afternoon just roaming up and down every aisle. You can even create designer bag lady clothing featuring the trendy Target logo – and force your kids to wear it when they complain about not having new clothes for school!

Stores like Target and Walmart are all great for buying regular household items and even food at lower prices. For some reason the formerly wealthy employed folk don’t want to admit they bought their no-brand clothes at Walmart even though half their time is spent in lazy pants, and the other half is hiding out at home where no one can see what they’re wearing anyway. While saving small change on deodorant and dish soap can be exhilarating, the unemployed would rather not face the stigma associated with buying clothes you managed to find while buying milk. Instead, for clothing, they would rather shop for name brand clothing six months after it has gone out of season at Nordstrom Rack or at Ross Dress for Less – where the clothes are irregular yet fit their crooked bodies perfectly. And when asked they can be like, “This old thing? Oh I bought it at Nordstrom before I got laid off” and pray their souls won’t be judged for temporarily wanting to fit in to a superficial world.

Tags: discounts, killing time, shopping, stretching a dollar