#81 Not Worrying About Stress Induced Wrinkles

If you’ve ever seen an unemployed person’s skin and wanted to rush out and buy a vat of anti-wrinkle cream, stop right there. Save your money because anti-wrinkle cream isn’t going to give you the ageless look you’re looking for, unemployment is. You see, preventable blemishes aside, once the unemployed get accustomed to having lost their job, their skin experiences a sort of wrinkle reversal to coincide with the removal of stress from their lives. 

If the unemployed cared to have a new job, they could easily employ themselves in an informercial to tout the secrets of youthful looking skin. But working on such a project would induce stress, and stress often leads to wrinkles, so rather than give themselves wrinkles while working on a show explaining how to prevent such wrinkling, the unemployed just sit pretty and remain wrinkle  free. Besides, there’s no real secret other than not having a horrible boss micro-managing every project, knowing that waking up on a work day does not involve wanting to die, and getting roughly 20 hours of beauty sleep each night. The freedom of getting to do whatever they want is what really helps skin glow and crows feet fade away overnight. 

While there might initially be some stress involved with unemployment, that tends to dissipate as the unemployed start to accept their layoff as a gift of time, leisure, and free government money. As it fades away and a sort of happiness that can only be explained by the unemployed builds, skin automatically starts to renew in vibrant form. Sure, the unemployed might have greasy faces from failing to shower or participate in personal hygiene practices, but if you look beneath the acne scars you’ll see wonderfully wrinkle-free skin. Also, as the unemployed tend to spend their time sleeping through the day or otherwise holing up at home refusing to go outside, they inadvertently protect themselves from the sun’s harmful, wrinkle causing rays. Lack of stress, sun avoidance, and unlimited beauty sleep. Who knew unemployment would be like tapping into a fountain of youth?

Tags: endless unemployment benefits, stress free, unemployment envy, wrinkles