If daytime television didn’t exist for bored housewives and parents who let TV babysit their kids, the unemployed would probably be more productive members of society. Thankfully, there’s a plethora of terribly fantastic shows broadcasting nonstop to rot the minds of all those watching, rendering them useless and unfit for the world they’re hiding from. Daytime television is the driving force behind the unemployed’s inability to get stuff done despite how inane the TV programs might be.
If the unemployed are lucky enough to have cable, whether they actually pay for it or jerry-rigged a way to steal it from a neighbor, then they are likely to never be able to pull themselves away from the TV. With so many cable channels rerunning shows from when TV used to be good, it’s hard to justify looking for a job, going to the grocery store to stock the fridge with it’s sole item: ketchup, or even making it upstairs to take a shower. Even without cable there are still plenty of choices ranging from horrible talk shows, court shows with today’s TV judge of the month, soap operas, and syndicated shows that normally wouldn’t be watched but are better alternatives to productivity. These shows are the most likely to become guilty pleasures.
The reason daytime television eventually becomes so important to the unemployed is it ultimately creates a schedule for them. Even if the term “schedule” is used very loosely, daytime television basically gives them a sense of structure they used to have when they were employed beings. Gone are the meetings, the sexual harassment seminars, the business lunches, and the powwow conference calls. Now, the unemployed have half hour to hour blocks of time devoted to their new favorite programs. At first, it takes the unemployed some time to choose between watching The Price is Right or The Tyra Banks Show, then deciding whether Oprah deserves to be watched or The Gilmore Girls, followed by choosing between Maury Povich or the other trash show devoted to paternity tests. The good thing is there is plenty of time to find out what they can stomach on a daily basis.
Tags: daytime television, staying shut in, Unemployed Activities
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This describes my weekends (and my soon to be weekdays) to a T. In fact, in the evenings, I have started watching Judge Judy and reality tv and the only reminder of time marching towards bedtime is the credits rolling ever 1/2 hour or so. It actually depresses me. Then I get right into another episode. Despicable.