#68 Observing and Judging Other Unemployed People

One of the best unemployed activities is to get out of the house into a very public space and engage in some intense people watching. Not only does it manage to kill a lot of time but it’ll give you a great idea of how you compare to other people trying to weather this “economic downturn” especially if you fair better than the others. Of course, in order to be a good people watcher, you have to be able to rudely judge others based on appearances alone. The best way you can do this guilt free is to convince yourself that everyone else is doing the exact same thing to you. 

After watching those milling around during the day it leaves you thinking, what’s up with them, what’s their story, how did they get here? Thus begins the process of observing other presumably unemployed people. It takes several different types of locations ranging from grocery stores, free museums, shopping malls and so on before you can really start to build a profile for the people you’re watching. Don’t be too quick to judge as it’s important for you to carefully give them a life story based on their looks and occasionally, their mannerisms:

Students – Always casually dressed with a holier than thou attitude. They likely decided they were too good to work and needed to devote their adult lives to obtaining an advanced degree in nothing particularly useful.

Employed Vacationers – People with shaggy hair wearing exercise clothing that still manage to look good while thoroughly taking pictures of everything. Slightly befuddled in real life but geniuses at work – they’re not unemployed, they just look it.

Kept women – They wear chic dresses to pick up expensive food from high end grocery stores (where the unemployed shop with food stamps) and clearly never have to work again after marrying Mr. Moneybags. Their only purpose in life is planning dinner parties and looking good doing so.

Unemployed Weirdo – Kept woman is not to be confused with the other girl wearing a sun dress – she was clearly laid off before her other coworkers because of her spacey nature, and spends her unemployed moments wandering around going, “Huh? How’d I get here? Ooh, bottom of the purse candy!”

The Wannabe – Workaholics trying too hard to look unemployed by dressing down with a hodgepodge of casual clothing they never get to wear, and pale, never-sees-daylight skin. Occasionally they take mental health days that scare them right back to the office where they belong. 

Trust Fund Baby – To the guy also trying to pass as a casually unemployed drifter – your Gucci glasses and Prada man sandals give you away, go back to being a rich trust fund baby and don’t try to slum it with us. We’re onto you. 

Retirees – More power to them for being able to mix an old sweatshirt with a long denim skirt and white sneakers. They’ve been out of work long enough to rock their comfortable, mothball-smelling outfits in public.

Tags: killing time, Unemployed Activities, unemployed people watching