#57 Desperately Updating Their Social Networking Profiles

It doesn’t take much to spot out the unemployed people on any given social networking site. They’re the ones that are usually sending terrible chain letter forwards, taking awful quizzes that everyone stopped taking in junior high, and constantly updating everyone who cares (they stopped caring long ago) on exactly what they’re up to at every given moment of the day.

For the most part, the unemployed were not desperately attached to their social networks until they lost their jobs and contact with the outside world. Their mentality is if they put out enough bait, someone will eventually respond and provide the unemployed with some light banter to help break up the day. If you track the history of any unemployed person’s online profile, you’ll usually notice that 99% of the time, they will respond to anyone’s comment. The response is typically in the form of a question, to solicit another response  but usually marks the end of that thread.

The unemployed will update about anything, no matter how banal a task it might be. You can blame Twitter and Facebook (for copying Twitter) for giving the unemployed the opportunity to crowd up your feed with updates like “Eating cereal”, “Adding more cereal because I poured too much milk”, “The milk is green but I’m going to drink it anyway because I’m unemployed”, causing you to miss out on the actual updates you would care to read. The worst part about being a social networking friend of the unemployed, especially if it’s someone you barely remember from high school but added anyway because you didn’t want to be mean, is that no matter how tempted you are, you can’t block or delete them if they send a flurry of 140-character corny jokes. It’s not just because you know you’re guilty of doing the same exact thing, but because unemployed people have exactly enough time to track down who went missing from their buddy list. And sometimes it’s easier to ignore desperate updates and silently hope that person finds a job soon than to get involved in social networking drama.

Tags: desperate social networking, unemployment fail