getting-paid-to-run-errandsShort of getting a mammogram or undergoing a colonoscopy there’s not much an unemployed friend can’t do for someone who has been putting off errands for way too long. Back in the day before Recession Hoopla 2007 – ? started and before people were constantly worried about losing their jobs, they would try to squeeze in as many errands as possible while on the clock. With bosses now scrutinizing who should get the axe next, employed people are finding themselves inundated with a backlog of errands that can’t be run during work.

When employed and unemployed minds meet, drunken conversations happen, and out of those conversations come the brilliant idea to buy unemployed people’s time. Unemployed people have plenty of time to do things during the day but half the time they choose to do nothing. Part of it can be explained by unemployed depression, lack of motivation, and the inability to handle natural light. The other part is it’s not like there much to do every day short of taking trips here and there or paying lots of money to do things. While unemployment might be a delight and a dream come true for many, it can be fairly uneventful – the grass is always greener on the other side. 

When employed people hear about an unemployed person’s day, they might get depressed that most of it consisted of wallowing on the couch waiting for something to happen. Convinced that the unemployed have to get out and do something, they might casually joke, “I’ll give you five bucks if you take my clothes to the dry cleaners” and be surprised at how quickly their unemployed friend agrees. While the unemployed can never getting around to their own self-improvement, the chance to help someone else out in exchange for goods and services gives the unemployed the purpose in life they’ve been missing. Dry cleaning can escalate to grocery shopping, walking Fido so he no longer poops in the house, or putting together the jungle gym that’s been sitting around so long the kids have outgrown it mentally.

Paying an unemployed person for his or her time can either be completely arbitrary depending on how much manual labor was involved. It’s not like the unemployed have a comprehensive list of how much any task might cost, but it’s understood that unless the price is right, the unemployed always have the choice to stay at home doing nothing. While it’s always good for the employed to start off by offering cash (usually always cheaper than hiring an assistant), you’d be surprised at what the unemployed would be willing to accept in exchange for running errands. Sometimes all it might take is an offer for a drink, lunch, or a home cooked meal. Other times, just having a need to leave the house is payment enough, especially if the unemployed have been holed up for days, ignoring their own errands in hopes of someone else’s to run.

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3 Responses to “#52 Getting Paid to Run Errands for Employed People”

  1. LC says:

    Your blog is hilarious. We’re really loving it. We’re just starting out, but trying to have a similar, not-so-serious feel to the unemployed condition. :)

    Mind if we add you to our blogroll?


  2. VW says:

    I went to my nephew’s school to put eye drops in his eyes for his allergies just for the continued privilege of living rent free in my sister’s house.

  3. Kay says:

    I am one of those “people”–The Employed..except I need to make extra cash to pay my bills and I would like to use my extra time to run errands for other people even though I can’t seem to my own business taken care of as you mentioned above…very true. I actually made up flyers and passed them out several years ago and only received a couple of calls at that time..nothing came about.

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