#31 Claiming It’s Not Cold Enough to Turn on the Heater

Ever since losing their jobs, unemployed people have been having fun testing their limits to see how far they can go without spending money. One of their favorite ways of accomplishing this is refusing to turn on the heater despite how cold it is outside. They’re already spending too much money leaving their faucets running overnight to prevent the pipes from freezing. The last thing they want to do is “gratuitously” turn on the heat and nervously await their gas and electricity bill. When this happens, the ones most likely to suffer are employed significant others or kids who don’t understand why Daddy’s hobbling around, immobilized by wearing too many layers. If anyone complains about the cold the only response is a gruff, “Put on a sweater,” with breathe visible in the air. There’s no way of fighting it until the unemployed get hospitalized with double pneumonia and realize it’s probably cheaper to just turn on the heat. 

The situation is almost worse for those who have moved back home to live with their parents. Back in the days of having a flexible income, when no one was around to scold, they would lavishly indulge in the heater whenever it dipped below 60 degrees. Living at home with more frugal parents, they have no control over the thermostat and every time they reach for it they’re told, “You think money grows on trees? No wonder you had to move back in.” Hearing that makes their blood boil enough to momentarily feel warm, especially if they stomp away like a little kid while threatening to call Child Services. If they’re Daddy’s little girl, they might get a couple hours of heat. If not, they better be prepared to put on a jacket AFTER coming home and spend the rest of the night shivering in bed as their parents walk around in arctic gear claiming not to be bothered by the cold.

Tags: cold without heater, moving back home, unemployed and suffering