If Lance Armstrong is allowed to come out of retirement and promptly break his collarbone, there’s no reason unemployed people can’t also declare themselves retired to avoid going back to work after the recession is “over” only to be promptly laid off again. Consider it a defense mechanism or just a snarky response to questions [...]
Continue reading about #47 Declaring Themselves to be Retired
The minute the unemployed lose their jobs, they lose all motivation to maintain their appearances and quickly fall victim to not caring how they look because they have no places to go and no people to see. As they gravitate towards assembling an unemployment suit, they’ll take advantage of their flexible attire by lying in bed or [...]
Continue reading about #46 Feeling Ambivalent About Unemployment Weight Gain
For anyone receiving unemployment checks the idea of getting free money is so novel they end up exploring other ways of scamming the government for goods. Now that food stamps (aka Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) are distributed via special debit cards rather than actual stamps, the unemployed for sure have looked into whether they’re eligible to participate. [...]
There’s something about not having a job that suddenly brings out the inner cook in the unemployed. Some theorize that unemployed people turn to cooking because they want to save money by not eating out all the time. Others believe a sudden interest in cooking can be attributed to a complete lack of other things [...]
One obvious perk of unemployment is suddenly having plenty of time to take the extended vacation that has been thwarted time and time again by work. Gone are the days of canceling a trip last minute because of some stupid deadline. With plenty of time on their hands, and no luck finding a job, the unemployed [...]
Continue reading about #43 Traveling For Cheap During Off-Peak Times
For some people it takes some time to practice turning into a lazy, unemployed slob. The first week after getting laid off, some might find it incredibly difficult to sleep in because their poor bodies are too used to waking up at a hellish hour. At first, there’s that slight feeling of panic of being [...]
Continue reading about #42 Going Back to Sleep After Waking Up Too Early
One thing unemployed people absolutely can’t live without besides unemployment checks is internet access. After getting laid off, going online is one of the few things that keeps them sane and is the only link to the outside world as they spiral into unemployment depression. If you were to take the internet away from an [...]
Continue reading about #41 WiFi Hotspots, Especially if They’re Free
Pretty much anyone can agree that Friday night naps are one of the greater joys in life. There’s just something so special about passing out for a few hours after a long week of school, work, or doing absolutely nothing. For most people, Friday nights signify the one time during the week that they can [...]
After going through the usual stages of depression, reckless drinking, and general self-destruction, the unemployed eventually hit rock bottom before trying to get their act together. Some might pour all their available energy into finding a job. Others decide finding a regular job will never be a part of their life again, vowing to finally [...]
Continue reading about #39 Finally Having Time to “Be An Artist”
After weeks of making excuses to drink alone, there’s nothing better than spicing up a morning alcoholic beverage by inviting freshly laid off friends over to play drinking games. Instead of playing the usual “Never Have I Ever” types of games that were overdone in college, the unemployed can try making up games that represent their [...]
Continue reading about #38 Making Up Recession Drinking Games
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