While most unemployed people will avoid getting dressed on regular days of wallowing and being jobless, that all changes when it’s time to go to cheap buffet day. That’s when the unemployed will whip out their Sunday bests because they’re gonna get their eat on, and they wanna look good.
Buffets are coveted treats because they include a drink, a meal, and a dessert all for the price of one, and seconds, thirds, fourths and beyond are all free! (If drinks aren’t included, they’ll ask for a water glass and fill it with Sprite - their little secret) In respectable countries, buffets are promoted as “eat-as-much-as-you’d-like” but in America, where they do it right, it’s “all-you-can-eat” and that means you either go to town or you fail. And Americans never fail.
Because unemployed people have limited resources and unlimited time they will often take reading material to the buffet, whether it’s a book or a trashy magazine filled with pictures. With something to read, it’s easier to pass time and digest, so more food can be eaten when hungry again. Essentially, if done right, the unemployed will enter for a breakfast buffet, still be there when the food changes over for lunch, and leave after having dinner. The buffet employees will have switched shifts several times, but the unemployed will sit in their fancy attire, munching away, reading and sometimes even taking “digesting” naps in the booths.
Next time you find yourself at a buffet, take a look to see if you can spot the unemployed. They’re often the ones scolding their children to not eat vegetables or fruit, telling them “Go for the expensive meat, ’cause you ain’t gettin’ it at home.” Ah, the unemployed, stretching their dollars and waistlines one buffet day at a time.
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