#24 Making Sure Reality Doesn’t Disturb Their Slumber

Ever get an instant message the minute you sign in from a friend halfway around the world who is desperate for attention because everyone in their time zone has been asleep for hours? Chances are that friend doesn’t have a job and has fallen into the pattern many unemployed do of keeping odd hours. These are the people who are able to stay up all night because they’ve slept all day. Their night time activities are not newsworthy but they lurk late into the night just because they can. Oftentimes they go to sleep simply because they’ve run out of things to do, and sleep itself is a popular unemployed activity.

When it’s finally time to go to bed the last thing the unemployed want is to have their sleep disturbed. Nothing is worse than being interrupted by a garbage truck, street cleaners, sunlight, or a significant other getting up for work right before or after falling asleep. To ensure they stay snoozing the unemployed will wear eye masks so not a single ray of hopeful sunshine will penetrate the REM cycle. Uncomfortable earplugs are worn because a little bit of pain is better than being awake at some ungodly hour (anytime between morning and happy hour). Sometimes a Breathe Right strip is used to prevent being woken up by their own snores. 

Of course, the combination of reality blockers can make anyone look less attractive, but the unemployed are already skipping showers and forgoing getting dressed, so what do they care? Chances are the cards are already stacked against them  in the romance department – how many people want to date an unemployed bum? If the jobless are lucky enough to have someone to share a bed with there’s still one thing to consider – not too many take kindly to eye-masked advances at 4am in the morning. But it’s not just the get up that loses the chance to score, it’s the catheter that’s been inserted to avoid having to wake up to pee.

Tags: avoiding reality, sleeping in