Whether they’re prone to zits or just not keeping up with their personal hygiene, one of the the things jobless folk rank high about being unemployed (besides the free government money) is being able to shut themselves in during a particularly bad acne breakout or monster zit. Gone are the days when pizza face had to choose between calling in sick because of a blemish and going into work with either some thinly veiled attempt to hide hideous pimples (random band aid or too much makeup) or showing up looking like the perfect candidate for a Proactive commercial.
There was nothing worse than waking up in the morning with a giant zit and having to debate about popping it before it was completely harvested, or leaving it so co-workers silently wondered why it wasn’t popped before showing up for that important meeting. Teenage agony for the adult who should have more to worry about than skin care.
Without a job, and no places to go or people to see, the unemployed can now suffer through their breakout from the safety of their own home, desperately searching for the perfect acne treatment towards clear skin. Rather than going out in public shouting “Don’t look at me, don’t look at me!” the unemployed can and will order various acne treatments online and have them express shipped to their homes. Sometimes ski masks are donned so as to not startle the postal worker. Other times cryptic notes are left on the door, instructing UPS or FedEx deliverers to just leave the package on the doorstep in lieu of a signature.
When the pimples finally clear up, the unemployed swear they’re going to lay off the foods that cause them to break out, or promise themselves they’re going to actively partake in daily hygienic practices like showering and face washing. The truth is, it only feels good to show their face in public for a split second before they’re back to wallowing at home, not showered, and wearing the Snuggie they happened to order along with the pimple products. What? They honestly thought it’d never clear up!