While most unemployed people will avoid getting dressed on regular days of wallowing and being jobless, that all changes when it’s time to go to cheap buffet day. That’s when the unemployed will whip out their Sunday bests because they’re gonna get their eat on, and they wanna look good. Buffets are coveted treats because [...]
Continue reading about #25 Dressing Up to Go to Discount Day at the Buffet
Ever get an instant message the minute you sign in from a friend halfway around the world who is desperate for attention because everyone in their time zone has been asleep for hours? Chances are that friend doesn’t have a job and has fallen into the pattern many unemployed do of keeping odd hours. These [...]
Continue reading about #24 Making Sure Reality Doesn’t Disturb Their Slumber
Whether they’re prone to zits or just not keeping up with their personal hygiene, one of the the things jobless folk rank high about being unemployed (besides the free government money) is being able to shut themselves in during a particularly bad acne breakout or monster zit. Gone are the days when pizza face had [...]
Continue reading about #23 Hiding Out at Home During Acne Breakouts
How is it that CareerBuiler.com commericials can be so good on Superbowl Sunday (punching a koala, anyone?) but their articles so bad? Chances are everyone is guilty of clicking on a CareerBuilder article at one point or another. There’s something so deceptively alluring about them but only after you’ve already exhausted the internet and started [...]
Continue reading about #22 Cursing Themselves for Reading Asinine CareerBuilder Articles
Remember when Sunday nights were filled with dreading having to wake up for work on Monday? Imagine the pain an unemployed person’s boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, or cat must feel when he/she has to wake at some ungodly hour while SOMEBODY gets to sleep in until whenever. There’s something delightfully evil in knowing that those [...]
Continue reading about #21 Sleeping in While Their Significant Other Gets Up for Work
Unemployed people aren’t the only ones guilty of overusing the phrase “in this economy” or others such as “in these difficult economic times” and “during this global economic downturn.” Rich politicians will abuse the phrases to sound like they’re one with the people. Fearfully employed people will use them when fretting about losing their jobs. [...]
Continue reading about #20 Overusing the Phrase “In This Economy”
When unemployed people start boasting about getting a raise, don’t think twice, it’s just Obama’s way of being nice! After the unemployed claimed not to pay attention to the goings on of the economic stimulus plan, some of their demands were heard when the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act was signed into law this week. [...]
Continue reading about #19 Getting a Raise from the Government
For every person who has just lost their job that is happy about it, there is a person who is downright miserable. Everyone deals with loss differently. Some immediately jump into action mode and rigorously start churning out resumes and cover letters, attending job fairs, and going on weird interviews. Others take their newly found [...]
Continue reading about #18 Trying to Figure Out if They Have Hobbies
Some days it just makes sense to stay in your pajamas all day when unemployed. What’s the point of getting dressed in uncomfortable clothing when all you’re planning on doing is staying in the bed or on the couch all day? On certain days, like when you’re expecting a package from UPS or FedEx, you’ll [...]
Continue reading about #17 Getting Annoyed About Having to Get Dressed
A great thing about being unemployed is not having to worry about whether the long weekend applies because the whole week is essentially a long weekend – except for Saturday and Sunday when all the other goons come out to ruin everything. Some people circle all the three-day weekends on their calendar and eagerly count [...]
Continue reading about #16 Getting Presidents Day and All Other Holidays Off
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