Back in the day when people had busy lives and jobs they would find themselves completely out of suitable clothes to wear and then be forced to spend all day doing laundry. During that time, if anyone came to the door, whether it was the mailman or an unexpected friend, the laundry-doer would feel compelled to yell, “It’s laundry day!” It was the only way to explain how they came to be dressed in a mismatching disaster of spandex shorts, ill-fitting t-shirts, granny panties and no bra because there was absolutely nothing else to wear.
Unfortunately unemployment has a tendency to bring out the fashion beast in all of us, making the unemployed perfect candidates for “What Not to Wear”. After gathering enough pieces to to assemble a core unemployment suit and realizing there’s very little reason to get dressed let alone dressed up every day, the unemployed eventually phase out their socially appropriate attire in exchange for unspeakable atrocities like a green Google shirt mixed with orange and purple gym shorts from high school.
With most days spent at home, somewhere between looking for work, freaking out about having no money and wallowing in front of the TV in a fit of despair, the unemployed tend to go through their raggedy clothing surprisingly quick. The free shirts, because of their large sizes, usually are the first to go. Then, the shirts with holes followed by the shirts that should have been shredded into rags long ago. Match those tops with a pair of cut-off sweat shorts or your best pair of ”for painting” jeans and you’re good to go if by go you mean lie on the couch.
The outfits that the unemployed once wouldn’t be caught dead in have suddenly become an everyday thing. Admit it – look down at what you’re wearing and ask yourself, “Would I have worn this outside a year ago?” If you say yes, you’re probably lying. At first, you dare to leave your house in your “laundry day” clothes to make a dash towards the mailbox, which becomes a quick trip to the post office, until it escalates into fully immersing yourself in public in such outfits.
Then, it suddenly becomes laundry day and not even because there’s no more clothes left. There are just no more comfortable items to wear. In the closet hangs a bunch of perfectly suitable things to wear, but the unemployed just forlornly look in their dirty laundry pile at that super ugly but super comfortable shirt and wish it was clean. They might have even previously dug that shirt out of the hamper to give it one last wear before washing it. In a sort of reverse desperation, the unemployed have no choice but to reach for their ::shudder:: work clothes and head out to the laundromat to wash a bunch of rags all dressed in business casual. When 90% of your laundry is your former gym clothes, you know it’s time to get a job.